Chocolate, Champagne, and… Lube?

Valentine’s Day has long been marketed as a three-step seduction plan: chocolate to tempt, champagne to loosen inhibitions, and sex to seal the deal. Simple. Predictable. And, if we’re honest, designed for younger bodies that don’t need a warm-up, a conversation, or a hydration plan.

But for those of us who have lived, loved, and logged a few decades? Valentines deserves an upgrade.

Enter: lube. The unsung hero of pleasure.

Let’s Talk About the Old Valentine Standbys

Chocolate is delightful. Champagne is festive. Neither has ever betrayed us. But they’re accessories not solutions.

Chocolate won’t fix a dry vagina. Champagne won’t solve erectile changes.  And neither will magically erase menopause, medications, arthritis, stress, or a body that now prefers a little preparation before the main event.

Bodies change as we age. Romance needs to change with them. So, now it’s chocolate, champagne and lube.

Lube Is a Game Changer, Not a Sign of “Something Wrong”

Somewhere along the way, lube picked up an undeserved reputation. Embarrassing. Apologetic. Something you use when what “used to happen naturally” doesn’t anymore.

Let’s clear this up right now: Lube is a pleasure enhancer.

Using lube doesn’t mean your body has failed. It means you’re smart enough to adapt. It means you understand how arousal works now. It means you’re choosing comfort, sensation, and connection instead of powering through discomfort like it’s a badge of honor.

That’s not giving up. That’s leveling up.

Aging Bodies Deserve Better Sex, Not Less Sex

As we age, arousal often takes longer. Blood flow changes. Estrogen drops. Tissues become thinner and more sensitive. Desire often shows up after touch instead of before. This is called responsive desire and is completely normal at this stage of life. (I explain responsive versus spontaneous desire more fully in my previous post, Libido and Aging: From Lightning Bolt to a Slow Burn.)

What this means is simple: Sex benefits from intention now. Planning is sexy. Talking about sex is sexy. And embracing lube as part of your pleasure toolkit? Very sexy.

Lube reduces friction, increases sensation, and allows pleasure to unfold instead of feeling rushed or strained. It turns “let’s hurry” into “mmm…take your time.”

And honestly? It makes everything smoother in every sense of the word.

Romance Now Is About Preparation

Let’s retire the myth that “real” romance is spontaneous and effortless.

Romance at this stage of life is intentional. Thoughtful. Responsive. It’s knowing what helps your body say yes.

Lighting a candle? Romantic.Putting a bottle of lube on the nightstand? Also, romantic.

Nothing kills the mood faster than burning, irritation, or silently counting the seconds until it’s over. So, maybe the perfect Valentine’s gift, whether to your partner or yourself, is a beautiful container on your nightstand that dispenses your lube with confidence.

Bonus tip: Choose body-safe formulas and skip anything that burns, tingles, or smells like dessert. If it wouldn’t belong near your eyes, it doesn’t belong near your genitals. My previous blog, What to Look for in a Lube: Your New Best Friend, provides guidelines and suggestions for choosing a lube.

Valentine’s Day Means Pleasure

This holiday puts a lot of pressure on people, couples and singles, too. There’s an expectation of fireworks, passion, and perfectly timed orgasms. Here’s the truth: The core principle of Valentine’s Day is that you deserve pleasure and love, however that looks to you.

Valentine’s sex doesn’t have to mean penetration. It doesn’t have to mean orgasms. It might mean slow touch, laughter, oral sex, hands, toys, or simply lying naked together feeling close.

Lube will make all of it feel better.

Solo or Partnered: Lube Still Belongs at the Party

Valentine’s Day isn’t just for couples. If you’re single, widowed, divorced, or joyfully unattached, lube is still a fabulous date. Whether you’re male or female, lubrication supports sensitivity, reduces irritation, and makes orgasms more accessible especially as we age.

Remember, your most reliable Valentine has always been you.

So, This Valentine’s Day…

Enjoy the chocolate. Pop the champagne. Wear the red, the lace, or absolutely nothing at all.

But also give yourself permission to confidently adapt and redefine what romance looks like now.

Romance is comfort.Romance is intentional.Romance is embracing your pleasure.

And, romance is reaching for the lube and thinking, Yes. This is going to feel good.

Celebrate Valentine’s Day, partnered or solo, because pleasure doesn’t retire. Desire doesn’t expire. And great sex? It’s fun at any age!

(Image Source: Canva)