Kegels 101: Better Sex & Less Peeing Your Pants (for Everyone)

Raise your hand if this sounds familiar:

You rush to the bathroom multiple times a day, hoping you’ll make it in time. You laugh a little too hard and suddenly realize your underwear’s not dry. Your friends often joke about bladder leaks, then someone squeals, “I just peed!”—and everyone laughs (nervously). Your personal motto? Never pass up a bathroom.

If you nodded yes to any of that, there’s a good chance you have a weak pelvic floor problem. This is something that comes for almost everyone with age regardless of their sex, so if you remember seeing Jaws when it came out, guess what—this article is for you. The good news is, there’s a way to combat that leaky sensation, and improve your sex life. It involves a body part you probably aren’t paying enough attention to—woman or man.

Let’s be honest, have you ever given much thought to your pelvic floor? If you said yes, are you doing Kegel exercises? You’ve probably known about Kegels since you read a Cosmo article decades ago that told you to do one at every red light. Cute idea… but do you actually do them? Probably not. You either forget, don’t know if you’re doing them right, or just don't like doing Kegels. Men, I haven’t forgotten about you. This may be your first introduction to Kegels, and that’s OK. It’s never too late to start doing them. Read on.

Not sure what a Kegel is? Don’t worry! Kegel exercises, introduced in 1948 by Dr. Arnold Kegel, are simple contractions of your pelvic floor muscles. They’re discreet, effective, and can be done anywhere: in line at Starbucks, stuck in traffic, watching Netflix, even mid-conversation (don’t worry, no one can tell). Most people see results in just a few weeks or months of regular practice.

My goal? To inspire you to incorporate Kegels (pelvic floor exercises) into your daily routine—just like brushing your teeth. In fact, why not do them while brushing your teeth? Just 3 minutes in the morning and 3 minutes at night can strengthen your bladder control and boost your sex life. That’s a big win from a few little squeezes.

Kegels & the Power of a Strong Pelvic Floor for Women

A woman’s pelvic floor is a sling of muscles that supports your bladder, uterus, vagina, and rectum. Over time, that sling can weaken due to pregnancy, childbirth, chronic constipation, surgery, weight gain, and, no surprise, getting older.

Weak pelvic muscles can be a cause for your bladder to leak when you cough, sneeze, or laugh and make you run to the bathroom hoping you’ll get there before you pee your pants.

Plus the benefits go far beyond dry underwear. These muscles are part of your core and work with your abs and hips to support your spine and pelvis. Weakness in pelvic floor muscles can even contribute to chronic low back pain—something nearly 40% of women with bladder incontinence experience.

Ladies, Meet Kegels: Your Secret Sex Weapon

Want to spice things up in the bedroom? Kegels can help.

A stronger pelvic floor means improved blood flow and muscle tone in the vagina leading to stronger, longer-lasting orgasms. Yes, those pleasurable contractions during orgasm? That’s your pelvic floor doing its magic. The stronger the muscles, the more intense the orgasms. This goes for orgasms however you get there—solo or partnered.

Weak pelvic floor muscles can decrease sexual arousal and make it harder to achieve orgasm.

Regular Kegels can:

• Enhance arousal

• Boost natural vaginal lubrication

• Strengthen orgasms

• Increase vaginal tone and tightness

• Make penetration more comfortable

• Heighten sensation for both partners

A few squeezes a day? Totally worth it.

Yes, Men Should Do Kegels Too

Pelvic floor dysfunction doesn’t just affect women. Men have pelvic floor muscles too. When those muscles are too tight or too loose, it can lead to incontinence, erectile dysfunction, and even chronic pain in the groin, rectum, or scrotum.

 Up to 1 in 6 men may have a pelvic floor issue, though many go undiagnosed due to overlapping symptoms with prostate problems or other conditions.

Kegels can help men:

• Lessen incontinence

• Improve erectile function

• Enhance orgasmic intensity

• Boost ejaculation control

• Improve blood flow to the groin, which is crucial to achieve and maintain an erection

Kegels are an easy, non-invasive way to lessen male incontinence and improve sexual function.

How to Do Kegels Correctly

Step 1: Find the right muscles.

Women:

Squeeze as if you’re trying to stop the flow of urine midstream or imagine holding in gas. You should feel a gentle lift or tightening in your vagina and rectum. Want to double-check? Insert a finger into your vagina and squeeze it. If you feel a tightening around your finger, you’ve found your pelvic floor muscles.

Men:

Squeeze as if you’re trying to stop the flow of urine midstream or imagine holding in gas. You should feel a gentle lift or tightening in your rectum. Want to double-check? Insert a finger into your rectum and squeeze it. If you feel a tightening around your finger, you’ve found your pelvic floor muscles.

Step 2: Squeeze and relax.

Squeeze your pelvic floor muscles for 3 seconds. Then relax for 3 seconds. Aim for 10 reps, twice a day. Morning and night while brushing your teeth is perfect.

Step 3: Focus your effort.

Concentrate on squeezing just your pelvic floor muscles. Don’t squeeze your thighs, buttocks, or abs. Keep your breath natural and steady.

Important: Don’t do Kegels while actually urinating because this can disrupt bladder function and increase the risk of urinary tract infections.

If you’re unsure about your technique or have specific pelvic floor concerns, consider visiting a pelvic floor physical therapist or speak to your doctor for a Kegel exercise plan that's tailored to you. They can guide you through proper technique and may recommend helpful tools like vaginal weights, cones, electrical stimulation devices, or smart pelvic trainers that connect to your phone and give real-time feedback.

It’s Kegel Time!

Ready?

Squeeze for 3 seconds.

Relax for 3 seconds.

Repeat 10 times. Twice a day.

That’s all it takes to build a stronger pelvic floor, experience better bladder control, and enjoy more satisfying orgasms. All while brushing your teeth!

Small squeeze, big results!

Image Source: Canva