Talking with your doctor about sex takes some planning and preparation. Below is a guide of things to do before and during the appointment to make the conversation easier and more helpful. Accept This One Crucial Truth: YOU Have to Bring It Up I cannot emphasize this enough: most doctors will not initiate a conversation about sex, especially with older patients.

When it comes to sex and aging, one thing is certain: there’s no such thing as a “one-size-fits-all” experience. Our bodies change, our hormones shift, and our joints ache, so it’s no surprise that our sex lives need a few adjustments too.

Let’s get something straight from the beginning: sex is not a performance, and your penis is not the star of a one-man show. Yet, many men become fixated on erections, framing any difficulties as “performance problems”—as if sex were a test to pass or fail. That mindset reflects a long-standing (and outdated) idea that men are the sole “deliverers” of sex. It’s time to rewrite that script.

If you're feeling a little uncomfortable about bringing up the topic of sex with your partner — whether you've been together for decades or just met someone special — congratulations: you're normal.