The legendary Dr. Ruth Westheimer passed away July 13th at the age of 96. Even though she was only 4 foot 7, she was an unstoppable trailblazer in talking about sex at a time when sex was a taboo topic. If you were around in the 1980s and 1990s, you will remember the initial shock of hearing this grandmotherly woman dispense sexual advice so matter-of-factly in her distinctive accent everywhere on television and radio. Dr. Ruth’s amusing and cheerful personality both charmed and disarmed audiences of their discomfort and embarrassment of sex talk as she talked frankly about things like masturbation or orgasms. Beyond the laughter, we all knew that Dr. Ruth was a credentialed, knowledgeable expert who was pioneering the sex therapy industry and breaking down barriers as she promoted sex literacy.
One of Dr. Ruth’s 40 books was Dr. Ruth’s Sex After 50: Revving Up the Romance, Passion & Excitement. She wholeheartedly believed sex was to be enjoyed throughout one’s lives, no matter the age. Below are quotes and perspectives from Dr. Ruth on sex and aging.
“There is no evidence that going through menopause means that a woman loses her sex drive. Going through menopause may bring many changes to her life, in general, some of which may have a negative effect on her sex life, especially if she is not forewarned and not adequately prepared to deal with them. But menopause is not a death sentence to a woman’s sex life by any means.”
“There are common perceptions about older people held by the general public, even among senior citizens themselves that are just not true. One of these is that older people just aren’t sexy. This is rubbish. Humans can continue to have and enjoy sex into their nineties. Your sex life is not supposed to come to an end just because you’ve hit a certain age.”
Dr. Ruth recognized that some post-menopausal women don’t enjoy sex as much as earlier because of discomfort due to the shrinking of tissues in certain areas of the body. Her cure: More sex. “The more women engage in sex, the less severe the symptoms of menopause related to good sexual functioning will be.”
“A common myth says that great sex has to be spontaneous sex, but in most cases, the reverse is true. I’m not saying that spontaneous sex can’ be great, but rarely do two people hit their peak sexual mood at just the same time without planning.”
“If you don’t change, your sex life may reach that stairway to heaven before the rest of you does. Now is the time to get serious. Now it’s time to pay attention to Dr. Ruth so your sex life remains alive and kicking.”
The title of Chapter 1 of her book, Dr. Ruth’s Sex After 50, sums up the key message of Dr. Ruth’s years of sex advice – Your Brain is Your Most Important Sex Organ.
This is my favorite Dr. Ruth quote and a reminder that sex and intimacy are lifelong. “In nursing homes, I would like to make sure that there’s a dating room, with a sign like a hotel that says do not disturb. There’s a need for caressing and being held at every age.”
Thank you, Dr. Ruth, for singlehandedly breaking down the barriers that sex is a taboo subject. You are a one-of-a-kind icon.
(Featured Image: Rhododendrites)
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