Dear Dr. Janie,
This may seem like a silly question, but it’s something several women in my book club said they worry about. This question came up last week and no one knew the answer. If you don’t have penetrative sex for a long time, does it grow together and close up?
Asking for a friend
Dear Asking for a friend,
Thank you for asking this. It’s not a silly question and you might be surprised how many
older women worry their vagina might have closed up since they haven’t had
penetrative sex in a long time. You can assure your book club that it doesn’t grow
together and close up. While it’s not a situation of “use it or lose it,” the muscles of your
vagina, just like any of your muscles, benefit from consistent exercise. If the women in
your book club are worrying that their vagina has grown shut, it sounds to me like they
haven’t engaged in self-care (aka solo sex or masturbation). That is my first piece of
advice. Explore your body with your hands or a sex tool like a vibrator or massager
plug. Including a lubricant in your exploration will make the adventure much smoother
and more enjoyable.
There are a few things to be mindful of if your vagina has been “inactive” from solo or
partnered sex for a while. With the decrease in hormones from normal aging, there is a
thinning of the walls of the vagina, so be gentle. A gynecologist wo knows the work I do
told me she recommends graduated sizes of massager plugs for her patients who have
not had penetrative sex in a while. Amazon or other online websites are always a good
place to purchase sexual aids if you feel uncomfortable going to a store. If you have
significant discomfort, you should see your doctor who may prescribe pelvic floor
muscle dilators or pelvic floor therapy.
Have a question for Dr. Janie. Submit it here by emailing her at drjanie@sexandaging.com. (All questions are presented anonymously, and your privacy is respected.)
(Featured Image: Amazon)
Disclaimer: The advice provided in this column is for informational and entertainment purposes only. It is not intended to replace professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the guidance of a licensed medical professional for any health-related concerns or questions.
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